Who amongst us can honestly say they’ve never looked at Santa Claus and thought ‘Where are his muscles? And shouldn’t he be sleeveless with a handlebar moustache?’
I’m not saying Christmas would be better if Hulk Hogan was Santa Claus, but it would definitely be different. In fact, no, I am saying that Christmas would be better if Hulk Hogan was Santa Claus. Of course it would be. 2am Christmas morning and Santa kicks down your front door, tears off his shirt, leaves you some presents, eats a mince pie, smashes somebody in the face with a steel chair and then leaves. That might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever written.
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